Friday, December 30, 2011

And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half.

When I was little and still believed in Santa Claus, I can remember counting down the days until Christmas and they were just  e  n  d  l  e  s  s.  My mother told me that the days would go faster as I got older. I couldn't understand. They'd only be 23 hours?? Huh??

Now that I'm even older than my mother was when she told me that (mwrrh), I get it. I've gotten it for a long time,'s starting to feel like that ride where you stand in the big drum, and it spins faster and faster and the centrifugal force sucks you back against the wall and the floor drops away and you just stick there and are helpless to move or stop it or even turn your head to look away.

I understand that it's all about relativity and perception, but...perception is everything and I think the days really *are* only like 22 hours now. I can't keep up. I can't catch up. I'm trying to notice and enjoy the good moments but they go by so fast.



Monday, December 12, 2011

everything changed....

2011 was quite a year for me. Many changes. A wonderful person (That Guy) returned to my life
after many many years. This required significant adjustment, more emotional than logistical, but it's harder to get your heart and mind in the right place than a sofa.

I set a resolution for myself this year of "trying something new every week." THAT was a blast.
That will be a whole blog post in itself as we near year's end. But that introduced many new things into my life - fun, silly, disastrous :-) Some "new" things have stuck and are now firmly ensconced in my life, and for that, I am thankful I had the courage to try new things.

I made the difficult decision to transition ebay out of my life. I've been selling on ebay for thirteen years. Thir. Teen. Years. With a specialty in vintage clothing for the past six. That's a long time to have your home head life cluttered with STUFF. Stuff to sell, stuff to store the stuff you're trying to sell, stuff to photograph the things you're trying to sell, stuff to pack and ship the things you sell, stuff you're unable to sell, stuff you buy to sell and then can't bear to part with. A lotta stuff. And in the past few years I downsized from a full-size (though cozy) home to a small Brooklyn apartment. I've had to get rid of a lot of my OWN stuff to make room for EBAY stuff. Plus, it's no longer as lucrative for me as it once was...and it's just time to move on. So for the time being I'm still selling. I have a lot of vintage clothing left in inventory (read: plastic tubs in basement), and I have *stuff.* Ebay stuff and stuff of my own that just still doesn't fit in this smaller life I've made for myself. I'll continue sharing some items in my ebay shop here on the blog and my Dragonfly Facebook page.

I have some other income producing ideas I'm working on...I'll fill you in when there's something concrete to tell.

I started this blog when I was an active ebay seller - I had a different motivation when writing it then. Selling. My focus has shifted considerably. I've come back to the blog as a way to share my life, thoughts, problems, solutions. Maybe I'm struggling with something someone else is, too...and my words will resonate with them. Maybe vice-versa in a reader comment! I still actively photograph my life and I'll continue to share that here. These are some of my favorite "autumn" pictures I've taken over the years....

Hope y'all survived Monday :-)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

i hate blogs.

i hate blogs.

not really. but sometimes i hate the way they make me feel. Like my life, home, wardrobe, hair, pantry, are all LACKING. i read many of the same blogs you do. the ones depicting fashionable chic-sters, charming homes, peaceful loving lives, gracious home-cooked meals, stories of fun times spent with friends and loved ones. and not that I *don't* have any of those things in my life...but blogs are sort of like the photo in a personal ad...that one instant, frozen in time, when you look most like the person you *wish* you really were. The lighting, composition, exposure - all the planets were aligned and for one that moment, Life Looked Perfect. And it's so easy to feel envious (for me anyway), and covet that OTHER life, that PERFECT life, that LOVELY life...and it's so easy to forget that a blog is just a snapshot...and not a 24/7 documentary...and we're not seeing all the mess Behind the Scenes and All The Takes Lying on the Cutting Room Floor.

My life doesn't look like this.

It looks like THIS. 


And sometimes I forget that *I* have the occasional perfect moment, too. And SOMETIMES my life looks like THIS 

or this

Sometimes I forget to be thankful for what I have. Usually. Usually I forget to be thankful for what I have. I get so caught up in what I *don't* have. Sigh. 

I don't hate blogs. They're nice to look at. Sometimes they inspire me to be better, do better, make more effort. But sometimes I'm just too tired old worn-out....lazy (note: truth) to TRY. And that's not the blogs' fault. That's MY fault. 

(I dedicate this blog-post to my friend Stacey.)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

time flies.

It has been A. YEAR. since I posted here. A YEAR. Unbelievable. I have two words to say in my defense:

A Man.

We've all been there. They rock our worlds, turn them upside down, love us, hurt us, melt us. It has been some year. It's taken me a long time to get my bearings...a LONG time. I'm still not sure I'm totally on solid ground yet...but it *is* time to get on with the rest of my life. 

The Man is still around, but to quote Facebook, "It's Complicated." Isn't it always??


with the windows open

photo by Weepy Hollow