tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91345989227437190262024-03-12T23:45:28.673-04:00once i saw a dragonfly50-something work in progress, photographer, vegan, animal lover, adventurer, breaker of rules, loves sparkle rainbows and other unobtainable things. this is my story. this is my life.Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.comBlogger142125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-2723062212835236122013-10-10T07:16:00.000-04:002013-10-10T07:16:26.995-04:00a change is in the air<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've been sick much of the past week. Missed some work. Missed doing some fun things. Have fallen behind on other things. I owe people stuff. But today I just needed to get out. Outside. With my boy. And walk in the quiet woods. Slowly. He's still not quite right from the Lyme's disease. And I'm still huffing and puffing and coughing as soon as I exert myself even a little bit. But we just needed a quiet walk. And tomorrow I'll get back to normal. But today was nice. Seeing the hint of autumn in the woods. Feeling it in the air. Nice. The change feels good.</div>
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Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-90423901150685657972013-10-01T07:30:00.000-04:002013-10-02T09:13:38.378-04:00with autumn closing in....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I love learning about photography. Some of it is very technical, things like "<a href="http://photofocus.com/2009/06/04/understanding-light-falloff-the-inverse-square-law/" target="_blank">light fall off</a>" and <a href="http://www.webopedia.com/TERM/F/focal_plane.html">focal planes</a>...I start hearing this stuff and think, "can't I just take a pretty picture of a flower??" And yes, I can. I know that stuff is out there to be learned. Someday. But for now I'm sort of trial-and-erroring my way through. And that's fine, too! In the end, a pleasing picture is a pleasing picture, no matter how you got there.</div>
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But I definitely love to give myself challenges and...assignments. That's how *I* learn - by doing. By making mistakes and trying again a different way. Lather, rinse, repeat. Until I achieve the look I was going for. </div>
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For last week's shoot, I had a theme - The End of Summer. In my mind I was loosely imagining Mother Nature a little somber at seeing her magnificent summer come to an end. Sometimes themes come across a lot better in my mind's eye than they do through the lens of my camera! I think this kelly green dress, which seemed very Mother Naturey to me back at my apartment, was far too contrasty with the muted hues of the sand and ocean. I'd wanted the model to almost disappear into her surroundings and instead she really stood out. So, I learned to pay more attention to colors in wardrobe and their relation to their surroundings. I'll hold onto the dress for the time being and maybe use it again in a forest shoot, where it's closer in color to the environment. </div>
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In an effort to subdue some of the images, I used texture overlays, a process I've not used much. Someone that has been really inspirational to me is <a href="http://brookeshaden.com/gallery/" target="_blank">Brooke Shaden</a>, a fine art photographer who does amazing work using <a href="http://photo.net/learn/digital-photography-workflow/advanced-photoshop-tutorials/intro-to-compositing/">compositing</a> and texture overlays. I'm still pretty tentative with my use of them, but I'm challenging myself to experiment and go a little further each time. What do you think of my overlay images?</div>
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I also played around with long exposure shooting, trying to create a ghostlike effect with the model walking back and forth in front of the camera set to very slow shutter speeds. I still need to work on that! *I* know that's the model in the green dress, but it probably just looks like a green blur to all of you. </div>
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So in the end, do you think my pictures give a sense of the ending of summer? Why or why not? </div>
Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-49209437886934058612013-09-24T11:06:00.001-04:002013-09-24T11:07:32.649-04:00by the lake, part II<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Since I'm <strike>stuck</strike> living back on Long Island for the time being, I thought it might be nice to really explore it while I'm here. I've lived on LI since I was 9 years old (read: many many years) and there are still *so* many places I've never been to. I'd even lived in the town of Lake Ronkonkoma for awhile when my ex-husband and I first moved in together, and I had never actually been to The Lake. There was a restaurant there, The Bavarian Inn, which I knew to now be abandoned and all grafittied-up (bettye-ism), a setting which is much to my liking. Sadly, when we got there that day we discovered that the restaurant was newly fenced-in (urgh) and not in a "oh, *I* can get in THERE" way, but...yeah. We were not shooting there. So we moved to Part II: The Lake.<br />
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My thought for the lake portion of the shoot had been a) capturing backlit and sun flare-y photos and b) evoking soft femininity in this vintage nightgown. It was a big fail on the sun shots (!) as I miscalculated our time, AND had been unaware of the tall trees around the lake, which knocked off 15 minutes of our sun-time. Live and learn! I should download one of those sunset time apps! It's amazing how much earlier every day the sun sets. I always sort of thought it set one minute earlier each day...but it's more like ten! So the difference from one week to the next is pretty drastic.</div>
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I like the softness of the water and sand shots...and so enhanced their paleness and fragility in post-processing. The images with the trees in the background, however, were a little more contrasty so I edited them with stronger tones. What do you think?</div>
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Even though we didn't have the sun directly, it was *such* beautiful light that evening, even after the sun dropped down below the trees, its glow lit the model's face so nicely. </div>
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Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-40533810644325778872013-09-21T08:17:00.000-04:002013-09-21T08:17:34.497-04:00by the lake, part I<div style="text-align: center;">
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I'm so glad I'm finally getting back to doing personal photography projects. I try to have a little something in mind to learn, a technique or camera feature...and then create a styled shoot around it. This part of the shoot, up the hill from a lake, I was shooting in a bit of a challenging situation - lots of dappled light - which meant lots of camera adjustments.</div>
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It's funny, I still get nervous during shoots with other people...I fumble around with my camera, and I get self-conscious about directing and posing. Then driving home afterward I'm always like, oh that was awful, they must think I'm such a beginner, I've wasted everyone's time...and then I get home and start playing with the images and find I have some really lovely photos. Yay.</div>
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I love soft focus, hazy photos...sun flare, backlighting, sort of a dreamy ethereal look...don't you?</div>
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It's nice, in-between doing photographs for other people, to allow yourself the freedom to photograph *your* vision, to nurture your own sense of creativity. I think it's important to spend time on creating your own style. It's what will set you apart from other photographers. </div>
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Stay tuned for Part II...down on the beach.</div>
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Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-12296459582123929522013-09-14T09:32:00.000-04:002013-09-14T14:01:57.687-04:00getting back to normal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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My boy has been out of commission for awhile. Lyme disease. Anaplasmosis. Yucky things caused by ticks. Pain. Depression. Trembling. Lots of laying around moaning, unable to get up and down easily. This is my BOY. It was breaking my heart.</div>
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But the meds have been working wonders and he's almost at the end of the first 28-day cycle. A good friend has suggested he do another round as 56 days is better than 28. So yeah. I'll talk to the vet this week about that. In the meantime, yesterday was our first real outing in about a month. He was perky, in spirit mostly, but still.</div>
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<span style="text-align: center;">He made a couple doggy friends and tried to keep up with them for a stride or two, but couldn't go much more than that. Mostly we just did a rambly walk through a nearby preserve, stopping when he was tired or I wanted to snap a shot of something suggesting autumn is actually on its way.</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;">In all, a good afternoon.</span></div>
<br />Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-60324719716748967202013-09-07T09:54:00.000-04:002013-09-07T09:54:40.789-04:00Weekend Wrapup<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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What are you up to this weekend? With the clock ticking towards the real end of summer (I refuse to accept Labor Day as "the end of summer"), I'm trying to squeeze in as many beach days as I can before it truly gets too cool, so...weather permitting, I have two long days of sun, sand, reading, floating, and negative ions ahead of me.<br />
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Here are some things I've wanted to share with you...<br />
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<a href="http://youtu.be/_XQ1D6vW6IQ">Cute lil lamb</a>. I can't.<br />
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<strike>Jumping</strike> <a href="http://www.dancersamongus.com/photos">Leaping</a> for Joy!<br />
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<a href="http://www.sweetpaulmag.com/crafts/diy-clipboard-pinboards">Pinterest</a> come to life<br />
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Why <a href="http://www.photographytalk.com/photography-articles/3280-41-reasons-why-you-shouldn-t-date-a-photographer">you shouldn't date a photographer</a><br />
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<a href="http://youtu.be/_XQ1D6vW6IQ">Cute lil lamb</a> again. Cuz...come on. You know you want to.<br />
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Thinking of adopting a rescue dog? <a href="http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8142/10-things-ive-learned-from-my-rescue-dog.html">This should put you over the fence</a>.<br />
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Okay. That's enough. The beach is calling meeeeee.Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-65518937402035855932013-09-04T22:08:00.000-04:002013-09-05T07:55:30.726-04:00The Birthday GirlToday, she is my birthday. Which means...I can do anything I want! And I just want to share some favorite photos from near and far and long ago and yesterday...<br />
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This is my puffy man, Madison.</div>
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I loved this day, spent with a special friend. He took me to a place I never would have found by myself and it was so serene.</div>
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This is *long* ago, like 35 years ago. Me and my girlfriend being silly on the ponies. I don't know why I'm making the goofy face (photo left), but our times at the barn were always fun.</div>
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Me and my first horse, Elmer J. Fudd (Millionaire. He owned a mansion and a yacht).</div>
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Me and my baby. And donuts. </div>
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Nice glasses, Bettye from the past. Nice. Giant. Glasses.</div>
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Me and a llama :-)</div>
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My mother and me when I was just a wee one.</div>
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My boy, just in from a blizzard, with his most sincere face.</div>
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My beautiful baby.</div>
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Spring.</div>
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My baby Katie, Leroy, Robbie (aka The Boy-os), and my ex-husband. When he had big hair.</div>
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Fleurs on my desk at work.</div>
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Tiny Jane in the packing peanuts. She loved diving in and swimming through them. </div>
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She kinda looks like one of those blow-up alien dolls, right??</div>
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My best girl and my best boy.</div>
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Sweet Katie </div>
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Mommy & Daddy</div>
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Spring at Planting Fields Arboretum</div>
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My beautiful New York City</div>
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All photos by me. Unless I'm in them. And then I don't know.</div>
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Happy Birthday to me. I'm off to have a fun day. </div>
Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-88722460983486424082013-09-02T17:42:00.001-04:002013-09-02T17:42:11.739-04:00ch-ch-ch-changes.... Part I<div style="text-align: justify;">
I mentioned some changes in my life over the past year, and that I'd "get back to that." </div>
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Change is good. change is exciting and about growth. But it's mostly just those good things when the change is at *my* hand. I had a significant change thrust upon me last September that I was not too happy about. The Brooklyn brownstone that I'd called home for over two years was sold out from under me. I was told by my landlady at the last minute, so I had only 30 days to get out (gah), and was *totally* unprepared for a move - financially and otherwise. With a 50-lb dog and two cats, poor credit, and no money to put down, it's *very* hard to find an apartment in Brooklyn (or anywhere!). Rents in Bushwick had gone through the roof while I was living there, and I could no longer afford *anything* there. With little time and fewer options, returning to Long Island was the only thing I could do.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WLti8P3QSKk/UiUC3KjSiYI/AAAAAAAAwAM/tJMGqvZPtN0/s1600/kate+3b+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="409" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WLti8P3QSKk/UiUC3KjSiYI/AAAAAAAAwAM/tJMGqvZPtN0/s640/kate+3b+(2).jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Moving from the suburbs of Long Island to Brooklyn in 2010 had been a huge change for me...but one that I'd looked forward to for YEARS...I'd been excited about it, planned for it, dreamed of it.....it was *my* change. It was *my* big adventure.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8yFWIpXtVGE/UiUC3liLNvI/AAAAAAAAwAc/pbp80U2jf8g/s1600/pay+what+u+wish+6.11.11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8yFWIpXtVGE/UiUC3liLNvI/AAAAAAAAwAc/pbp80U2jf8g/s640/pay+what+u+wish+6.11.11.jpg" width="560" /></a></div>
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And I LOVED living in Brooklyn. It is always interesting and entertaining and active and vibrant and energetic, at all times of the day or night. I could be a single person there and not feel so *alone.*</div>
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But at the time I had no choice but to come back. To the suburbs. Out in Suffolk County. Close to work, but far from friends and the things I enjoy doing. This change really lay heavy on my heart. In the beginning I promised myself it would only be for six months. I'd get back on my feet and return to Brooklyn, or at least to Nassau County, closer to *my* things. But here it is - another September has rolled around and I'm still in the same spot. </div>
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Let me just say this - this apartment was a saving grace when I needed one. They let me and my animals in when I had no money to put down and poor credit that had been rejected by the other places I tried. Mr & Mrs Landlord are super nice, I work with their son, Mr Landlord gives me tomatoes from his garden and I dog-sit for them when they travel. </div>
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But. I feel very isolated. That was the feeling that motivated me to leave Long Island in the first place. So. And that isolation wears on me. </div>
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But for now...for reasons financial and canine (this is a good place for Caleb as he ages - he can walk right out the door to the yard, no steps or elevator...and there are several very good nearby <strike>places we can sneak into</strike> dog-friendly spots that we visit a lot), this is where we'll stay. I'm trying to let go of the *temporary* mindset and finally focus on making this our *home.*</div>
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Stay tuned for Change #2....</div>
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(all photography by me, except for the first picture of me and my daughter - taken by random guy on the Brooklyn Promenade)</div>
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Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-17571537314341937232013-08-27T22:50:00.000-04:002013-08-27T22:50:56.107-04:00skulls and bats and lungs, oh my!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Du4-qdcl5QM/Uh1LJbs-kpI/AAAAAAAAv_E/t2z63sfNIMc/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="470" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Du4-qdcl5QM/Uh1LJbs-kpI/AAAAAAAAv_E/t2z63sfNIMc/s640/1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I'm really excited to have done a shoot this weekend with <a href="http://bathousedesign.com/">Bat House Design</a> - they're making super cool graphic tees. I especially love the girls' crop top - it's such a different (sexy!) silhouette - girls, this is not your boyfriend's tee!</div>
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I had a lot of fun shooting up by the train, even when random motorcycle guy vroomed in...walked past us without saying a word...did *something* on the other side of the train (gah) (ha), then left. </div>
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And I'm *SUPER* excited to see my photographs on their website, woohoo, I'm famous! :-) </div>
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I know it's a little silly, but...yeah, I'm excited! </div>
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<br />Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-15934909056545777272013-08-23T23:07:00.000-04:002013-08-23T23:07:49.210-04:00I'm b-a-a-a-ck!Look who's back - Me! Didja miss me? Did you even notice I was gone :-(<br />
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This past year brought many changes to my life - I'll get to those later. For now, I wanted to share a fun little shoot I did last week at a local carnival. They've been setting up for a week, and we snuck in a couple days before opening and had about 15 minutes to shoot before we were asked to leave. That's okay. It was just enough time to get a couple pictures I love....<br />
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I'm sure I'll get back there during the week it's in town and get some fun pictures at night with the lights!</div>
<br />Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-46621459190845547802012-09-10T22:59:00.001-04:002012-09-10T22:59:19.831-04:00a new path...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So. Earlier this year I started on a new path...and I've been learning meditation...and about Buddhism. Not that I'm going to *become* Buddhist, organized religion is really not my thing...but I find there are many principles to Buddhist teachings that really resonate with me.</div>
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This definition of meditation comes from the website of <a href="http://www.brooklynmeditation.org/">the center where I've been going for classes</a>: "Meditation is a simple yet profound method to improve the quality of our lives and develop inner peace. Through following very simple, practical instructions we can learn to let go of the causes of our pain and dissatisfaction and to gain the inner peace and clarity we seek." How can *that* be bad?!? </div>
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I started out taking a half-day meditation "how to" workshop at a center in Manhattan...and immediately felt "yep. this is for me." Everything feels nonjudgmental and gentle. Some of the precepts, while I *get* them, are a little tough to *live.* Which is why I'm continuing to take classes, do workshops, and read anything that seems "meditation for dummies-ish." It's a path I think I would like to follow. Sort of. Ha.</div>
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The meditation part has become such a good part of my day. I know I'm not "doing it right" quite yet...getting one's mind to really be still and quiet is *such* a challenge...but just the act of the making the attempt, while sitting with my eyes closed, in stillness, really gives a little respite from the day, and leaves me feeling refreshed and better able to deal with whatever is going on around me. The "meditation" part will get better with time. Now I'm learning how to "set intentions," which I think will actually be easier than trying to just focus on the breath (basic meditation).</div>
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Tonight was the first class of a new session. The teacher discussed "our precious human life" and procrastination. All good stuff! I'll share more as I go, but remember, I'm just like a kindergardener at this stage. Still, I'm so pleased to be on the journey.</div>
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Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-63735070690887819642012-09-09T21:07:00.000-04:002012-09-09T21:07:00.515-04:00last days of summer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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it's so hard at this time of year to give up the dream of summer...relaxing in the warm sun, feet buried in the cool damp sand...the occasional dip in the ocean to cool off....no one expects anything of you at the beach. it's just total relaxation and escape from real life. nothing else is quite like it.<br />
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these last days are a little bittersweet. the usual crowds are absent. everything's a little quieter and slower...only the die-hards still remain, refusing to let go. enjoying every last drop of summer.<br />
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i'm not ready to let go.Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-87730859701935721762012-09-07T21:49:00.000-04:002012-09-07T21:49:24.899-04:00take a load off...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We all need a break from time to time. Even if you can't go away on a real vacation, there are still ways to step outside the normal box of your life for a little R&R.<br />
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My favorite "get-away" is the beach, even if it's just the local beach. Being in the beach air, listening to the crash of the surf, and bobbing and floating in the water are very relaxing to me, and really take me away from everything "real," even if just for a little while.<br />
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Some other cheap and easy "mini-vacations" are:<br />
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1. Go to a park you've never been to for a little picnic. Sit on the grass. Enjoy some shade. Go for a walk.<br />
2. Turn off your cell phone and/or internet for the afternoon (or whole day if you can stand it!).<br />
3. Soak in the tub w a book, some music and a nice drink. Stay there for a long time. I like to nap in the tub!<br />
4. Pretend you're not home :-) Stay in your jammies all day, close the curtains, don't answer the phone or doorbell.<br />
5. Take a day-trip by car. Find an interesting location within 100 mile radius of where you live...go and check out the main street, the parks, museums, have a little lunch or dinner...enjoy someone else's town for the day before returning to your own.<br />
6. Meditate. This is something I'm just learning and starting to practice now, and even though I haven't really gotten it down yet, it still leaves me feeling like I've had a little "mind vacation." <br />
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Just getting outside your normal environment or shutting yourself off from the world, even for an hour or an afternoon or a day, can leave you feeling refreshed and ready to return to real life.<br />
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What do *you* do when you need a little break??<br />
<br />Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-28943623130448298562012-09-06T17:46:00.000-04:002012-09-06T17:46:03.352-04:00Happy Birthday to ME!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I *LOVE* my birthday. Always have, always will. From an early age and my parents throwing little backyard parties for friends and classmates...to my teens and early-twenties when close friends and boyfriends would do things to make it special...to my daughter having surprises ready and waiting for me when I got home from work......to a sort of dry spell...daughter had left for college, I'd moved to a new location, didn't have a "significant other" type person, family all far away...so there were a few "pity party" years...but...I have moved along...made new friends, have some lovely people in my life...a whole gaggle of children from one of the classrooms, herded in by their teachers, brought me a bunch of handmade birthday cards - LOVE them! Too sweet. I'm feeling the love!</div>
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A *special friend* took me out for birthday dinner, which was an unexpected but so lovely surprise. Some nice Italian food and red wine over candlelight...a charming and attentive companion...it was just the right amount of romantic...it made me feel special and my *special day* acknowledged.</div>
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I took a couple pictures during the day w my cell phone of gifts and cards from work...but realized after I got home last night that I had failed to get "the money shot," which would have been the tiramisu complete w birthday candle. At first I was disappointed, I rarely miss a shot like that, but then I thought...that really shows how good the company was, that my normal "where's the photo opp" mind didn't even *think* of picking up the phone for a picture!</div>
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Here's to another year....Happy Birthday to Me. </div>
Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-863956914837842562012-09-04T23:33:00.000-04:002012-09-06T17:47:14.832-04:00How to Survive...uhm, ENJOY the First Day Back to Work<ul>
<li>Wake up half-an-hour earlier than normal and take the dog for a morning walk. Tell yourself you'll do this every day because it's good for the both of you. You won't.</li>
<li>Wear something that makes you feel pretty.</li>
<li>Treat yourself to store-bought coffee and fancy pastry. It's a splurge but you deserve it. It's The First Day Back to Work.</li>
<li>Pretend it's The First Day of a New Job. And everything is new and fresh and untainted with past annoyances. Be on your Best Behavior with your "new" boss and colleagues. </li>
<li>Get the h*ll out of the building at lunchtime. Those "new" people are annoying you already (jk, New People!). </li>
<li>Take ten minutes to meditate. Just...close your eyes and focus on your breath...and try to let everything else slip away. If things sneak in (and they will!), "label" them - "planning," "fretting," "expecting the worst," etc. Be aware of what's interrupting *your* time...and then let it go.</li>
<li>Spend the afternoon getting excited and happy about The Really Really Good Thing that you've planned for yourself. Yay. </li>
<li>Don't stay there a second longer than you have to. </li>
<li>Hurry home to Really Really Good Thing. Enjoy IMMENSELY. </li>
<li>Have actual dinner, not just ice cream (even with sprinkles, that's not *really* a real meal).</li>
<li>Be a little productive. Not too much. Don't want to burn yourself out the first day.</li>
<li>Go to bed early, noting before falling asleep, that you survived. Good for you!</li>
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(no pictures today, can you believe it?!?))<br />
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Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-63915101061598238882012-09-03T21:19:00.002-04:002012-09-03T23:10:39.195-04:00How to Enjoy the Last Day of Vacation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<li>Turn off the alarm. Sleep til you wake up naturally.</li>
<li>Shuck your "plans." This is a day to make up as you go.</li>
<li>Talk to a best friend. Get a little people-fix.</li>
<li>Go out for your favorite doughnuts. Don't be disappointed when u get there and it's closed. Go somewhere else. When in doubt, try something new! </li>
<li>Go to an outdoor cappuccino cafe so your dog can sit nowhere near you and pretend that everyone else is his *real* family. (ps - Caleb has a new favorite cafe!)</li>
<li>When thoughts like, "oh, I was supposed to do this thing over vacation" arise, smoosh them down. Way down. There will be time for them tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after that.</li>
<li>Go to a dog park and make new dog and people friends. Don't get upset when your dog rolls in the muddy dirt, cuz it makes him so happy. And it makes you happy to see him happy.</li>
<li>Walk around your neighborhood. Look around. Enjoy what there is to see. Take pictures of everything.</li>
<li>Don't think about tomorrow. At All.</li>
<li>Have a yummy sandwich outdoors. Garlic hummus and avocado. I die.</li>
<li>Stay off Facebook <strike>all</strike> most of the day.</li>
<li>Bob your head and drum your fingers on the steering wheel when the rap-blasting Escalade pulls up behind you at a red light. Appreciate the fact that you live in a place where anyone can listen to (or say or read or write or paint) whatever they want.</li>
<li>Pick up ice cream on your way home. You're going to need it.</li>
<li>Don't go home til late afternoon. Open all the windows. Let the curtains flutter. Be quiet. Read. Nap. Enjoy the solitude. </li>
<li>Don't spend more than on hour TOPS on preparation for tomorrow or the week ahead. You've gone to work and sent your kids off to school a million times. Trust me, you could do it in your sleep. Tomorrow, you probably *will* be doing it in your sleep. This is "Last Day of Vacation," NOT "First Day of Living in the Real World."</li>
<li>Have ice cream for dinner. With sprinkles. You deserve it. It's The Last Day of Vacation.</li>
<li>Take a nice long warm soak in the tub.</li>
<li>Have something Really Really Good to look forward to tomorrow.</li>
<li>Turn the alarm back on.</li>
<li>Go to sleep early, thinking about above-mentioned Really Really Good Thing, and being grateful for how you much you enjoyed The Last Day of Vacation.</li>
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Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-51947575762674868272012-09-02T19:17:00.000-04:002012-09-02T19:17:53.204-04:00But it's not Fall YET!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I saw HALLOWEEN CANDY in the market earlier this week. All around me, blogs are sharing pictures of ways to "cozy up for fall." STOP! It's not fall yet!!! I'm not ready to give up. There WILL BE beach days ahead, still. September can be MAD hot. <div>
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This summer has passed in a blur. I did a lot of fun things - bike rides out east, lots of beach, time spent with my daughter...but there are still things left on my Summer Bucket List - kayaking, uhm...other stuff I can't think of at the moment, but...there's stuff. </div>
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This morning I was looking back through my summer's pictures, and some of the things seem like they happened SO long ago....and they weren't even a month ago. Time, man. It is passing by faster and faster. I'm glad I take pictures to sort of freeze time and help remember things I've done and moments I've had. </div>
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These are some pictures from my summer - both "real" camera and cell phone, "photo shoots" and just casual snapshots. It's sort of a hodge-podge, but it's what my summer looked like.</div>
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Promise you won't give up on summer yet, either. PROMISE ME!!!</div>
Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-27082940761944306332012-07-29T19:40:00.000-04:002012-07-29T19:40:15.856-04:00i blog every day.....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_PH1NYMGSGU/UBXJGbh2ooI/AAAAAAAAvhc/rHEkFfUutuA/s1600/free+stuff+part+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="430" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_PH1NYMGSGU/UBXJGbh2ooI/AAAAAAAAvhc/rHEkFfUutuA/s640/free+stuff+part+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">....in my mind. </span><br />
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all through my day i have moments and I think "ooh, this is fun/scary/interesting/unusual/sweet, etc" and in my mind I "write" a blog. but. then life gets in the way. work, commute, friends, dog, reading, learning, etc. all stuff I *want* to do, don't get me wrong. but i want to do this, TOO. my hat is off to those who write daily...it's really a big commitment. i won't say I've failed. i just haven't succeeded yet.<br />
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the good news is i haven't gotten to the finish line yet. there's still at least one more chance to really dig in and give it a go.<br />
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so here i go.<br />
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didn't leave the property today. didn't put on a bra or brush my teeth. i was in sorta cleaning sorta organizing mode. put out a couple boxes of free stuff on the sidewalk. cleared out one bookcase. one bookcase. it's not a lot, but it's one bookcase more than none. so i feel good.<br />
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and tomorrow's another day.Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-36449594310970452852012-06-29T22:24:00.000-04:002012-06-29T22:24:07.035-04:00winding down<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-00x8EG6bLKA/T-5iV-RWQaI/AAAAAAAAvgI/ybhWeaI4j9E/s1600/a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-00x8EG6bLKA/T-5iV-RWQaI/AAAAAAAAvgI/ybhWeaI4j9E/s640/a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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vacation started today. at 4:01. pm. not a minute too soon.<br />
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i have ten days to do anything. to do everything.<br />
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but tonight - the first night - is about doing nothing. just letting myself wind down. quietly. peacefully.<br />
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the heat came today. steamy hazy heat. so when we got home the air conditioners went on. the fans. the blinds pulled low blocking the sun. the apartment was dark cool peaceful. the child burrowed into a nest on the sofa and went to sleep.<br />
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the only movement and light was in the kitchen. the window with no blind. the lowering evening sun coming through the leaves outside and doing shadow dances on the kitchen cabinets.<br />
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tonight is about quiet gentleness. tomorrow we'll start doing everything.Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-56833307387119461062012-05-25T21:53:00.001-04:002012-05-25T21:53:40.176-04:00fear of failure.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dqrzt1tehIk/T8AzbNodOCI/AAAAAAAAuOk/KrJ3fObOkQA/s1600/isn't+procrastination+a+virtue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dqrzt1tehIk/T8AzbNodOCI/AAAAAAAAuOk/KrJ3fObOkQA/s320/isn't+procrastination+a+virtue.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I'm often accused of being a procrastinator. Like it's a bad thing! I feel like my "procrastination" stems from a desire for perfectionism. I don't want to start things willy-nilly. I want to plan and prepare, think, think again....think some more...make sure I have the best tools and most well-thought-out idea and I'm doing it at the right time in the best possible forum, BLAH BLAH BLAH. Sometimes The Thing never happens cuz I don't *have* the best tools or the idea hasn't been thought through well enough yet. </div>
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Or, you know, I'm scared. Scared of screwing up, being wrong, looking foolish, failing.</div>
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Fear of failure. Powerful stuff. </div>
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Procrastinator sounds better.</div>
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<br /></div>Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-49825582799160441822012-04-22T22:20:00.000-04:002012-04-22T22:20:39.921-04:00Weekend Part I<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ywo-6Llnug8/T5S3Ixy_RmI/AAAAAAAAtWs/hc1IKcj0-mo/s1600/slept+late+4.21.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="display: inline !important; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ywo-6Llnug8/T5S3Ixy_RmI/AAAAAAAAtWs/hc1IKcj0-mo/s640/slept+late+4.21.12.jpg" width="579" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-79qdXK9cIsA/T5S3SiKhNvI/AAAAAAAAtW0/HGGSHLsS_F0/s1600/caleb+plum+beach+4.21.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-79qdXK9cIsA/T5S3SiKhNvI/AAAAAAAAtW0/HGGSHLsS_F0/s640/caleb+plum+beach+4.21.12.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Saturday was one of those days where you give yourself permission to stay home and do nothing because the weather was supposed to be bad...and then the weather was beautiful! But I allowed very low expectations of myself and didn't even pretend that I was going to be productive in any way whatsoever. We all need those days once in a while. So I slept late, which always makes the kitties happy...had breakfast for lunch...played on <a href="http://pinterest.com/dragonflyvtg/">Pinterest</a> most of the afternoon, then late in the day, took the dog to the little beach along the Belt Parkway in Brooklyn (which always makes *him* happy!). And had a chocolate milkshake for dinner.<br />
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The End.</div>
<br />Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-90980173771291264622012-04-08T07:40:00.000-04:002012-04-08T07:40:08.184-04:00happy easter, bunnies.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iM7_356chTI/T4Fwuf3qdEI/AAAAAAAAs5U/WUfi9mRDSlI/s1600/kate+bbg+4.7.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="378" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-iM7_356chTI/T4Fwuf3qdEI/AAAAAAAAs5U/WUfi9mRDSlI/s640/kate+bbg+4.7.12.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I am not a religious person...but on Easter I am prompted to think of rebirths, new beginnings, peace and joy and love. </div>
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I think I had my Easter yesterday. I spent a perfect day with my (almost 21 years old!) baby. We had lunch at Smorgasburg in Williamsburg - it was opening day and packed, but I had The Best Grilled Cheese EVER from <a href="http://milktruckgrilledcheese.com/">The Milk Truck</a>. I had the "all day breakfast" sandwich, which is aged wisconsin gruyere, fried egg and caramelized onions on Balthazar rye batard bread. So often I have something good somewhere and think I can duplicate it at home...and usually I'm correct - but this perfectly pressed sandwich? I would not attempt it at home. It was too perfect. And we each got a doughnut from Dough. Katie had Hibiscus, which was so pretty w a magenta glaze and dried? candied? hibiscus blossoms scattered on top. I had passion fruit with cocoa nibs (hee hee, nibs is such a funny word, I always need to say it a couple times. nibs nibs nibs. yes, I'm 12). The flavor was good, and they were large and yeasty, which I prefer to cakey....but....my heart still lies with <a href="http://dunwelldoughnuts.com/">Dunwell Doughnuts</a>. I am definitely a doughnut girl in a cupcake/muffin world.</div>
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We wandered around <a href="http://www.artistsandfleas.com/">Artists & Fleas</a> for a bit...I love the flea markets for handcrafted earrings...and was delighted when the somewhat eccentric vintage clothing seller right inside the front door told me I looked beautiful (I was looking at some bakelite bracelets and I think he thought I was checking myself out in the mirror behind them - but hey, I'll take any compliment I can get these days!). </div>
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Then my search for the perfect-but-cheap bedroom dresser continued at <a href="http://meekerantiques.com/store2/">Meeker Avenue Furniture</a>. I won't say they're overpriced, but anything I saw I liked was priced higher than I want to spend. For the almost-two-years that I've lived in this apartment, I've felt I little transient, like I shouldn't really put down roots and settle in because I'll be leaving soon (i *love* my apartment, but the neighborhood leaves a lot to be desired)...but just recently I made the mental commitment to stay another year, so I'm feeling motivated to finally furnish it appropriately and finish UNPACKING!!! This is def one thing I miss about living on Long Island, Land of People Who Throw Out Perfectly Good Furniture. Most of my house was furnished with curb treasures. I never see anything good here.</div>
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After eating shopping walking, we headed to <a href="http://www.bbg.org/">Brooklyn Botanic Garden</a> to check out the cherry blossoms. It was such a beautiful day that the place was *packed* and you had to practically wait in line to get a photo under a tree! But we found a little daffodil meadow on a slope under some high shade...and I took some pictures of my beautiful daughter there. </div>
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All in all, it was a wonderful day...my girl was sweet and cooperative, I got to do all things I loved, the weather was ideal...and my car *didn't* get towed (we just lost it for a bit)!!!</div>
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I wish everyone a peaceful, loving Easter...with much thought to thankfulness, appreciation, and new beginnings.</div>
<br />Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-82967218714704356902012-03-25T10:56:00.000-04:002012-03-25T10:56:28.818-04:00i used to be.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I used to be a horse person. That was like a lifetime ago. I think it started when I was young and shy and lived in a rural suburb in Delaware and right up the road from my house was a horse farm of some sort. In hindsight it was probably some sort of lay-up farm for old, retired, or injured horses, as I never saw any real activity going on there - no riding or lessons or training of any sort. I remember the horses had their names on signs on their large paddocks. I used to lean on Speedy's fence for hours and just watch him graze...his gentle dark eyes focusing my way occasionally to see if I might be holding out a carrot or strand of "better" grass. </div>
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The horses were quiet and accepting of me, they didn't need me to talk or be funny or smart or popular. I could just stand by the fence quietly and eventually they would meander over to me for some petting or head scratching. I think that was the hook for me - the acceptance. The unconditional acceptance, expecting really nothing in return. </div>
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Those days started a long phase of my life where all I thought of was horseshorseshorses. After YEARS of begging, my parents finally gave in, and so began the years of riding lessons and horse shows, then horse college, FINALLY a horse of my own, and then a 10-year career as a riding instructor. </div>
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I loved teaching riding. I was, quite honestly, a better instructor than I was a rider. I had an eye for what was really going on in both a rider's and a horse's body and carriage. There's a lot more theory to riding than the average person realizes, and I could explain it well in a way my student's understood. </div>
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But like any job in any industry, there are downsides and politics, etc...and when I was pregnant with my daughter I left teaching...and when we moved from our first house that had a little four-stall barn, I let the last of my horses go :-( </div>
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I miss the horses very much. They were such a part of my life and my heart for so long. But now...some of my nieces are riders...and yesterday I had the opportunity to watch one of them try out two horses at a good friend's barn. I felt very comfortable stepping back into the role of teacher, and I was *really* happy to get to shoot one of my favorite subjects while I was there.</div>
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I guess everyone "used to be" something that they aren't anymore. What did *you* used to be? </div>
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<br />Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-18497964802554452952012-03-11T08:47:00.000-04:002012-03-11T08:47:27.400-04:00i'm declaring this "hug your loved ones" day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f-BhQvSM1Ds/T1yd-PMHZ2I/AAAAAAAAqJI/GCH7FdYZdYQ/s1600/kate+6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-f-BhQvSM1Ds/T1yd-PMHZ2I/AAAAAAAAqJI/GCH7FdYZdYQ/s640/kate+6.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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While we should all be doing this *every* day, as I mentioned recently in my <a href="http://onceisawadragonfly.blogspot.com/2012/02/reminder.html">Valentine's post</a>, sometimes we are busy, annoyed, distracted, forgetful...and we don't always make the time or effort to let loved ones know that we *truly* care for and value them. Sometimes it takes a little shake to wake us up and remind us to appreciate what is most important in our lives. </div>
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A dear friend got a shake yesterday, a big scare with an overall fortunate ending. But his scare reminded *me* and so I wanted to remind *you.* Make a point today of telling someone what they mean to you, giving someone a hug, expressing gratitude, showing appreciation...or just simply (which is really not that simple at all) saying "i love you." </div>
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Picture by me of my kid and dog. My kid and I had a little tiff a week ago and haven't been speaking...I think I need to tell her I love her.</div>Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9134598922743719026.post-75076678984876584782012-03-10T20:36:00.001-05:002012-03-10T20:37:16.234-05:00down the rabbit hole<div style="text-align: center;">
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uvO52L2uszo/T1wAlM3NyPI/AAAAAAAAqJA/9WN_X3x8w50/s1600/3.10.12+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uvO52L2uszo/T1wAlM3NyPI/AAAAAAAAqJA/9WN_X3x8w50/s640/3.10.12+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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I've been pretty mopey lately. I admit it. Life has not gone in *any* direction I intended. I'm not sure when I was younger that I really gave that much thought to *what* I intended - I think I just thought life was...upper middle class in a nice neighborhood with big houses, no financial worries, and family and friends always around. I missed that day in school or that parental lecture that said "no, you fool - you have to WORK for that. you have to make SMART decisions and not do stupid things and strive to stay on a path towards what you want...otherwise you wind up in the ghetto and alone." Instead, I just sort of went along, blahdy-blah, and now here I am. Not Where I Would Like To Be. And feeling so far down the rabbit hole that I could not imagine *ever* getting out. </div>
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But I've noticed an interesting phenomenon over the past 10 years - since I started having some minor, but *very* painful, medical issues. Each bout has lasted about 6 weeks and during that time, pain is pretty much all-consuming. Pain, do I have pain, can I get rid of pain, when will the pain come back, rating the pain, naming the levels of pain, can I make plans for the weekend or will I be in pain...for those 6 weeks it becomes All. About. The. Pain. (and just a side note, these issues are not like life-threatening or anything - just PAINFUL) </div>
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The phenomenon is the "banging your head against the wall" rule. And that is that...it feels so good when you stop. And I'm noticing now, as I'm just coming out of my third 6-week All-consuming Pain Phase in 10 years, that AFTERWARDS, it's like a great FOG has lifted - The Pain Fog - and I feel all newly energized and motivated and ready to go. Caveat - this "you go girl-ness" is in my HEAD. My body sometimes has a hard time keeping up. But at least my brain is churning with ideas about How to Get Out of the Rabbit Hole. Financially, mentally, emotionally, socially. </div>
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So. I'm happy to be on The Other Side of the Pain once again. And I'm grateful that my brain is clicking back in and attempting to come up with A Goal and A Plan for getting out of this mess I have created for myself. I'll keep you posted. I'd love to hear your stories - have you ever felt so low you thought you might never get up again? Were you able to get to a better place?
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Photo by me. I thought I deserved a little something, so I got these pink tulips at Trader Joe's today. I should have gotten chocolate, too. </div>Fashion Schlubhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08955119552327945874noreply@blogger.com0