under the weather

I was back in my old neighborhood this morning to take Caleb to the vet, and afterwards I didn't feel up yet to making the long drive back to Brooklyn. So we spent some time down at the little Islip town beach.

The vet visit was inconclusive...they gave me some meds for him for an upset tummy...doing x-rays was cost-prohibitive at this point...and he seems a little better than he did when I first realized he was not right.

I've also been under the weather (such an odd expression! aren't we *always*, in fact "under" the weather??) lately. Nothing that serious, but *very* painful and depressing...and I have started to schedule my life around pain, which...is not a good way to live. So I finally put my big girl panties on and went to see a doctor...and then another doctor...and while nothing they've given me so far has made a lick of difference (though it *has* COST several hundred dollars!), I do have a little procedure scheduled for Monday afternoon and HOPEFULLY that will take care of this. Because, in case you didn't know....PAIN SUCKS.

So, Monday while I'm white-knuckling through the procedure...I'll be pretending to be this seagull I saw today...just effortlessly floating "above" the weather....

a reminder....

Valentine's Day. I always hear people saying, "oh, Valentine's Day is nothing more than a marketing ploy by the greeting card companies (florists, candy manufacturers, etc) to sell product." Many people don't "believe" in the day.

I think Valentine's Day, like many holidays, is a a reminder. To remember something...or someone. A reminder to let those we love, like, care about, *know* that we love, like, care for them. Should we be doing that *every* day? Sure. Do we? Mmmm....maybe not as much as we could. Life gets in the way, we get busy, distracted, annoyed. So this is a day to say HEY! YOU! You love someone?? Let them know. Today. A small gift or gesture, a heartfelt letter or card, a shared activity...in some way, take a little time to make sure they KNOW you care about them, value them, appreciate them. Love them. 

It's not too late. If you haven't done it yet...do it NOW. 

when worlds collide

Sometimes I feel like I have two different lives. There's the "real" life - work, apartment, family, activities, things I do day-to-day out in the "real world." Then there's my "online" life - facebook and ebay and blogging and pinterest, twitter, etc. Some Most of the "real world" people just don't "get" the internet part of my life. They don't understand the time spent online, they can't appreciate the interactions and activities. And because they don't *understand* it, they often consider it a waste of time.

This makes me sad.

I feel the internet has added such a dimension to my life. I'm not *shy,* exactly, but let's say I'm "socially anxious." Is that actually a *thing*?? I don't know. But it's how I feel. A lot of my life has been sort of solitary - I've always had a handful of good friends, but never a lot of...people to just hang out with, if that makes sense. Even in my 8-year marriage, I spent a lot of time alone. THEN I was *really* lonely. And since the divorce, and especially now with my daughter away at college, and I've moved (geographically) away from friends and work...I'm once again leading a pretty solitary life. 

But I don't feel *lonely* (most of the time) because I have online friends and activities. And I feel online I can be The Real Me. Not the "in person" me who always feels sort of socially awkward and tongue-tied. Without the social anxiety present in the real world, I feel relaxed and like...the best part of me comes out. A more outgoing, witty, sociable me. *Me* unfiltered by "what if I say or do the wrong thing/what did she say/why am I always two steps behind/crap, why didn't i say THAT." I like this me much better.

And the great thing is...by people coming to know me online, as this "better me," I've formed friendships in the real world! Part of it was like...being able to sort of...practice being comfortably social, while still behind the mask of the internet. Another part was other people, "real world" people, being able to see a different side of me than they'd known before...and liking that person, we became friendly in real life. Now, it doesn't *always* translate. There are some online friends I've met in person, that...let's just say we'll always be better online friends. And that's fine! They're my friends when I'm home alone. But other friendships *have* made the leap from online to real world, and that's great, too! 

This is a lot of confession here. Maybe too much? I dunno. Opening my mouth when I shouldn't is my special gift  :-)

BUT, this week something really exciting happened. My amazing talented cousin and her long-time friend started a charming blog. GAH! A FAMILY MEMBER who is actually embarking on an online life?! Aside for being thrilled for them on their new venture, I also feel so....pleased to have, in some small way, my two worlds intertwining. Maybe not yet, but eventually they will "get it." How you can develop relationships and friendships with people online, that are every bit as real and significant to you as your friendships with neighbors and coworkers and buddies in Real Life! Whee!

All that said, I would *love* to introduce you to their beautiful blog, Two Chums, which is all about what they know and do best - gracious living, hospitality, making people feeling welcomed in their homes, lives, and hearts. Please pay them a visit.

~ Bettye (ducking back behind the curtain)