the life i keep

Change is all well and good...when it's YOUR decision what and when to change...but sometimes things just change around you. No one asks you, no one consults you, they just inform you - This is How Things Will Be From Now On. And sometimes you see that the change is for the better...but other times, not so much. And all *you* can control when things change around you is whether you will stay....or you will go. But sometimes going is not really an option, and....you find yourself in a different world.

So it's nice to be able to leave that world and come home...to the life you keep.

i hate blogs.

i hate blogs.


not really. but sometimes i hate the way they make me feel. Like my life, home, wardrobe, hair, pantry, are all LACKING. i read many of the same blogs you do. the ones depicting fashionable chic-sters, charming homes, peaceful loving lives, gracious home-cooked meals, stories of fun times spent with friends and loved ones. and not that I *don't* have any of those things in my life...but blogs are sort of like the photo in a personal ad...that one instant, frozen in time, when you look most like the person you *wish* you really were. The lighting, composition, exposure - all the planets were aligned and for one that moment, Life Looked Perfect. And it's so easy to feel envious (for me anyway), and covet that OTHER life, that PERFECT life, that LOVELY life...and it's so easy to forget that a blog is just a snapshot...and not a 24/7 documentary...and we're not seeing all the mess Behind the Scenes and All The Takes Lying on the Cutting Room Floor.


My life doesn't look like this.





It looks like THIS. 

 

And sometimes I forget that *I* have the occasional perfect moment, too. And SOMETIMES my life looks like THIS 

or this

Sometimes I forget to be thankful for what I have. Usually. Usually I forget to be thankful for what I have. I get so caught up in what I *don't* have. Sigh. 


I don't hate blogs. They're nice to look at. Sometimes they inspire me to be better, do better, make more effort. But sometimes I'm just too tired old worn-out....lazy (note: truth) to TRY. And that's not the blogs' fault. That's MY fault. 


(I dedicate this blog-post to my friend Stacey.)