when worlds collide

Sometimes I feel like I have two different lives. There's the "real" life - work, apartment, family, activities, things I do day-to-day out in the "real world." Then there's my "online" life - facebook and ebay and blogging and pinterest, twitter, etc. Some Most of the "real world" people just don't "get" the internet part of my life. They don't understand the time spent online, they can't appreciate the interactions and activities. And because they don't *understand* it, they often consider it a waste of time.

This makes me sad.

I feel the internet has added such a dimension to my life. I'm not *shy,* exactly, but let's say I'm "socially anxious." Is that actually a *thing*?? I don't know. But it's how I feel. A lot of my life has been sort of solitary - I've always had a handful of good friends, but never a lot of...people to just hang out with, if that makes sense. Even in my 8-year marriage, I spent a lot of time alone. THEN I was *really* lonely. And since the divorce, and especially now with my daughter away at college, and I've moved (geographically) away from friends and work...I'm once again leading a pretty solitary life. 

But I don't feel *lonely* (most of the time) because I have online friends and activities. And I feel online I can be The Real Me. Not the "in person" me who always feels sort of socially awkward and tongue-tied. Without the social anxiety present in the real world, I feel relaxed and like...the best part of me comes out. A more outgoing, witty, sociable me. *Me* unfiltered by "what if I say or do the wrong thing/what did she say/why am I always two steps behind/crap, why didn't i say THAT." I like this me much better.

And the great thing is...by people coming to know me online, as this "better me," I've formed friendships in the real world! Part of it was like...being able to sort of...practice being comfortably social, while still behind the mask of the internet. Another part was other people, "real world" people, being able to see a different side of me than they'd known before...and liking that person, we became friendly in real life. Now, it doesn't *always* translate. There are some online friends I've met in person, that...let's just say we'll always be better online friends. And that's fine! They're my friends when I'm home alone. But other friendships *have* made the leap from online to real world, and that's great, too! 

This is a lot of confession here. Maybe too much? I dunno. Opening my mouth when I shouldn't is my special gift  :-)

BUT, this week something really exciting happened. My amazing talented cousin and her long-time friend started a charming blog. GAH! A FAMILY MEMBER who is actually embarking on an online life?! Aside for being thrilled for them on their new venture, I also feel so....pleased to have, in some small way, my two worlds intertwining. Maybe not yet, but eventually they will "get it." How you can develop relationships and friendships with people online, that are every bit as real and significant to you as your friendships with neighbors and coworkers and buddies in Real Life! Whee!

All that said, I would *love* to introduce you to their beautiful blog, Two Chums, which is all about what they know and do best - gracious living, hospitality, making people feeling welcomed in their homes, lives, and hearts. Please pay them a visit.

~ Bettye (ducking back behind the curtain)

i hate blogs.

i hate blogs.


not really. but sometimes i hate the way they make me feel. Like my life, home, wardrobe, hair, pantry, are all LACKING. i read many of the same blogs you do. the ones depicting fashionable chic-sters, charming homes, peaceful loving lives, gracious home-cooked meals, stories of fun times spent with friends and loved ones. and not that I *don't* have any of those things in my life...but blogs are sort of like the photo in a personal ad...that one instant, frozen in time, when you look most like the person you *wish* you really were. The lighting, composition, exposure - all the planets were aligned and for one that moment, Life Looked Perfect. And it's so easy to feel envious (for me anyway), and covet that OTHER life, that PERFECT life, that LOVELY life...and it's so easy to forget that a blog is just a snapshot...and not a 24/7 documentary...and we're not seeing all the mess Behind the Scenes and All The Takes Lying on the Cutting Room Floor.


My life doesn't look like this.





It looks like THIS. 

 

And sometimes I forget that *I* have the occasional perfect moment, too. And SOMETIMES my life looks like THIS 

or this

Sometimes I forget to be thankful for what I have. Usually. Usually I forget to be thankful for what I have. I get so caught up in what I *don't* have. Sigh. 


I don't hate blogs. They're nice to look at. Sometimes they inspire me to be better, do better, make more effort. But sometimes I'm just too tired old worn-out....lazy (note: truth) to TRY. And that's not the blogs' fault. That's MY fault. 


(I dedicate this blog-post to my friend Stacey.)

what I'm most thankful for...

Not a very glamorous photo for the day, but...my daughter is with me for the holiday, and last night, after doing some baking (two batches of chocolate-chip banana bread, one of which I'm going to turn into banana bread pudding with a vanilla creme anglaise, a la Pioneer Woman (ish) for dessert tonight), we were watching a movie...at one point I got up to check how the banana bread was doing, and as I returned, I saw this sight. And I realized that everything I love the most, all the things I am most thankful for, were right there in front of me.

So, a quick post today just to say Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends, family, followers, fellow bloggers, fellow photographers, and even just nice folks whose paths might cross mine...I wish you all a peaceful day filled with the joy of loved ones and pleasing comforts.

xoxo
Bettye

memreeeez

Feeling a little melancholy this week. When I was young, and I mean, from the time I was 5 til was 20...every year me and my family would spend a week in Ocean City, Maryland. We always stayed at the same hotel right on the beach. It wasn't the biggest, the newest, or the fanciest...but after so many years it felt like home.

I can still see the passage of my youth right on that beach in my mind's eye...from riding my father's shoulders in the surf when I was still too little to navigate the sea on my own...to playing "Misty of Chincoteague," by "trotting" back and forth at the water's edge, neighing for my herd-mates still across the channel (my poor parents must have been mortified). Later, wave-surfing on tummy-chafing rough rented rafts...and even later...meeting boys in beach bars and making out with them on the sand.

We always went the last week of summer, leaving right after Labor Day - so we would be there for my birthday and I always got to pick the restaurant for that night - usually a crab shack with paper tablecloths and little wooden mallets to smash crab claws with, followed by carnival rides on the boardwalk and cotton candy.

I have a significant birthday coming up this weekend...and it has me thinking about birthdays past and being with family...and our vacations at the beach. And missing them both.

These pictures remind me of those times....